So the question in my mind is why wouldn’t you vs why WOULD I. Many individuals who’ve been untrue to their betrothed or significant others or whatever title you’d want to give a counter part feel that as long as they can keep the other out of the loop, “why would I ” tell them about what’s taken place in the past or might still be active. I understand to a certain extent why they would think that way. You’ve gotten away with it this far, why screw it up now?! Don’t ask don’t tell, right?! If you haven’t told by now, you probably won’t! All true, but a REAL adult would not only CEASE the activities that will rock their household, they would also not CONTINUE to put forth a false persona or basically LIE to the one person they claim to love so much. When children are involved there is the true feeling that the fear of losing contact with or no longer being a part of their child’s life supports NOT TELLING of extra relations, but who are you really doing damage to? To wait until “the ish hits the fan” is waiting far too long! The damage you’re inflicting is not only to your family, but mainly YOURSELF! You’ve not only robbed your counterpart the opportunity to make the decision for them self, but you didn’t trust them enough to be OPEN with them to come clean. If the branch is being extended for you to speak about ALL transgressions TAKE IT! The longer you prolong the inevitable, the more severe the suffering. Until you’ve experienced the act, it’s hard to say what you would or wouldn’t do. I could go on and on all day on this topic, but truth be told, I won’t. Ladies and gents, everyone doesn’t want to be lied to. The women that KNOW about their others extra activities, but stay for trivial reasons have little to no ground to complain but still shouldn’t settle for “going with the flow”. Rarely would you find a man condoning untrue actions from his female counterpart. In all, BE HONEST AT ALL COSTS! Each person deserves the truth!
When is the right time to tell your spouse you’ve been unfaithful? My opinion is the sooner the better! Once you’ve prolonged the truth, you make it harder to salvage your marriage. There are women/men that feel that keeping the truth hidden will save and keep their marriages when it’s quite the opposite. The fact that you didn’t trust your spouse enough to not only tell them AFTER it’s taken place and you’ve prolonged the actual facts is what damages your future with that individual. When the question was proposed, you (be it man/woman) WAITED to hear the answer and allowed them to make the decision on their own! Now that you’ve made an error (as we all do) what makes being honest this difficult to do the same? If they leave you be it 1 week/month/year or more than no one is to blame but you! No one in the world is responsible for your marriage but you and your counterpart. I’d rather my spouse give me the opportunity to stay or leave inspite of actions that have taken place. That and only that is a sign of willing to work on your marriage!
Content vs Happy vs Comfort. Many individuals stay in relationships because they can’t define comfort/happiness/content ness. Here’s the difference in my opinion: being content is saying I know I can do better and have better, but oh well why not stay where I am. Comfort: ok with the way things are and not wanting to move forward and in a consistent flow of things unwilling to change them. And Happiness: an overwhelming joy of unexplainable emotions behind truthful reality. The hardest thing is knowing which one of these you truly are experiencing. Many marital couples, engaged couples, and even singles don’t know the difference and will confuse their relationships with one of these three. There are definitely more than these but these are some of the core categories. Being content in a relationship will in some cases open the doors for outside relationships mainly because the emotion to be truly happy isn’t there. It’s more of a go with the flow type of feeling. Being comfortable may not open as big of a door for unfaithfulness as being content because it possesses a thought of ‘don’t rock the boat’ mentality. You’re ok with the way things are going and don’t feel like dealing with a change. Now being happy and truly happy, there are things you wouldn’t do no matter married/engaged/single. The understanding that there are various attractive individuals in the world, you say aloud and to yourself that NO ONE holds a candle to whomever you’re with! Being happy also is in tune with INTEGRITY! If you’re happy you’ll admit to your spouse or counterpart of your wrong doings and will be willing to be sincere and give your mate the FAIR OPPORTUNITY to make the decision to stay and work it out or leave.
Well, we’ll cover infidelity on the next post so until then, thank you for those who read the blog and comment. Tell a friend and let’s get this rolling!